the good life

All I Really Want is Girls

2012-01-24T12:36:00.000-08:00

I always envisioned myself as the mom of all boys. After all, growing up I prided myself in being a tomboy, I enjoy jeans and sports and I'm not very comfortable with feelings and lovey dovey touchy stuff. I figured that I would have no idea what to do with a girl. How thankful I am that God knows the desires of my heart so much better than I do! I absolutely adore these little girls. I love it all! I love:

The mischief,

the pinks and purples,

the pirate-fairy explorers,

the... actually I have no idea what's going on here,

the flowers,

the dolls,

the coloring,

and so much more. The skirts, the ponytails, the sparkles... I really could go on and on. In "short" I love being a mom of 3 girls.

Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-23T23:40:00.000-07:00

Today we did our annual Tanaka Farms Pumpkin Patch trip with the Gill family. We had a lot of fun--it's been so neat to see Abigail's involvement and enjoyment increase with each year. Stella really had a good time looking through all the pumkins and throwing hay on herself.

Some favorite moments:

This morning at church Abigail randomly said to me: "Mom, I love you. I love sharing the world with you." So stinking sweet.

Bodily Functions

2011-10-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

This is actually for yesterday. I'm still adjusting to our new schedule.
Yesterday was Jared's last day of paternity leave so we spent the day enjoying normal daily activities and doing whatever we could to prepare me for life with 3 girls under 4 yrs old. We have a new schedule, lots of activities (app-titties to Abigail), some fast and easy meals and back-up plans for almost every part of the day. We'll see how it goes. The girls also spent the day being gross and hilarious.

Some favorite moments:

At dinner I was sitting next to Abigail and smelled something gross so I asked her if she farted (because she needed to say "excuse me" if she had). She thought for a second then leaned over, farted and said "yep". Jared had to leave the table he was laughing so hard.
Stella is now peeing consistently in the toilet (again, yay!) but still won't poop in it so we have to put a diaper on her a while before bed or nap so that she goes beforehand. The funny thing is, she doesn't like us to know when she's going so when we ask her if she's going or has gone she always says "no". Last night before bed she was squatted down in her usual poop position, grunting next to their small table and I asked her if she was going poop and of course she answered "no". So I said, "What are you doing?" and she said (in Stella talk) that she was just sitting there to watch her milk cup.

Elasma-STELLA

2011-10-17T19:12:00.000-07:00

We went to Knott's as a whole family for the first time since having the baby. It was fun to actually get to ride some rides with the girls (it's amazing what they won't let pregnant women on). And I made a full dinner tonight! Slowly, slowly I'm heading back into normal life which actually brings up a seriously scary thought--Jared goes back to work in a couple days and I really don't feel ready to handle all 3 girls on my own yet. Well, ready or not I suppose I'll manage... I don't exactly have a choice.

Some favorite moments:

Abigail learned a song from my mom who learned it from my sister who learned it in her kindergarten class 20 years ago. According to legend the song goes like this:

If you take a turtle and a stick, put them together and see what they make
A neck that's long, a tail that's strong and four paddles, they all belong
To A B C D E-lapmasaurus, E-lapmasaurus, Giant of the sea

Tonight Abigail changed the lyrics to Elasma-STELLA. She cracks herself up.

This probably sounds ridiculous to post about but I put Stella's hair in pigtails for the first time today. She's starting to look more and more like a kid rather than a baby.

A moment from the past

Liv kicked a ton while inside me. I called Abigail over to feel it from time to time but of course she'd always miss it. One day she finally felt her kick--HARD--and her eyes got huge. She pulled away surprised but then put her hand right back to feel it again and started giggling. From then on she was feeling my belly any time she could.

Ah Haaaaaannn

2011-10-16T00:07:00.001-07:00

How quickly things move. I read somewhere that the problem with parenting is that the years are short but the days are long. With three girls there is so much I want to record, to capture, to remember. I am terrible at diaries and I don't want to spend so much time photographing the moment that I forget to be in it. So I am going to attempt to start logging some of my favorite moments of each day here and maybe occasionally put up some from the past that are just too good to let slip out of memory.

Today I spent the whole morning with the girls while Jared went down to Camp Pendleton for a 10K (he did amazing of course). My first morning alone with all three girls. It actually wasn't as stressful as I had expected and on the whole we had a good time.

Some favorite moments:

Abigail and I did "schoolwork" for the second time today. She worked on identifying patterns and making straight lines in prep for writing the alphabet. It was so fun to see her excited to learn and practice. She was so proud of herself.
Stella is enthralled by Liv and one of the cutest things she does is touch her hand, laugh and say in her deep little voice "ah haaaaaannn" (hand) over and over. She gets such a kick out of touching hands with her. I think I might try to get it on video just because I love her little voice and the way she says things.

Some learning moments:

Both Abigail and Stella are starting to show signs of the major change recently. Stella is starting to hit again when she's upset and Abigail is having a minor breakdown with every "no" "maybe" "wait" or "later" that she hears. I definitely need to put more effort into re-establishing a daily routine and I think they could use a little more one-on-one/two time with me.
I ran today for the first time since May. What a mood enhancer! I knew I wanted to get back into it and that it was good for me but I had forgotten just how much I actually need it. I'm slow and can't go far but it still felt great. It definitely needs to be a priority for my own mental, physical and emotional health.

A moment from the past:

About a week ago Abigail asked if she could read a book to Liv (who was at the time about 2 weeks old). Jared held Liv facing Abigail while she read a memorized book and explained the pictures. She loves books and it's amazing to see her wanting to share that with her littlest sister.

Grocery Store

2010-08-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to do a lot more crafts, activities and games with Abigail throughout the day. Here's one of the things we've done today (so far):

I set up a Grocery Store in the living room using empty boxes and bottles I saved.

Abs was given a basket she could drag around the living room to collect what she wanted to purchase.

When she had gotten all she wanted she brought the basket to me to bag up her items, then I told her how much she would have to pay to buy it all (I gave her some Jamaican money then told her how many dollars and how many coins it cost. She did really well counting it out.)

I ended the transaction by saying "Thank you, come again" and she said "Bye, see you at Bunny Scouts" (thank you, Simpsons and Max and Ruby).

Then she set it all back up and we started over.

Toy Story 3

2010-06-30T12:04:00.001-07:00

Last week Jared and I took Abs to see her first movie in a theater. She loves Toy Story so we took her to see Toy Story 3 while Grandma and Papa Tony watched Skipper for the morning. We pumped her up about it and spent the night before and the morning of explaining proper movie theater etiquette (for a toddler at least) and she did really well! AMC has liftable arm rests so we sat on either side of her and made a sort of couch. She was a little squirmy but did really well staying in her seat and only had to leave the movie once to use the restroom. Such a great experience and we were so glad we got to take her together (thanks, Mom and Dad!).

Abs had fun playing on the "benches" outside while Jared bought the tickets

Such a big girl! (The AMC employee was a good sport)

The Drive

2010-04-21T20:41:00.001-07:00

Ok, so there are WAY too many vacation pictures to put up on one post so I decided to break them up according to location/event. The first set of pictures is of our drive(s) to and from AZ. It was long... it takes almost twice as long to get to AZ with a breastfed infant and a toddler than it would if it were just me and Jared. But the kids were great, considering, and we were thankful to make it there and back in one piece and with no major events.

My super buff girl flexing for the camera

Most brilliant idea ever was bringing bubbles. Kept her entertained for as long as I was willing to keep them coming.

So picture-wise it's not that great, but I actually got a picture of a bubble as it was popping! How amazing is that?!

Once we got to Palm Springs on the way home Skipper decided to give us a break and take the wheel for a bit. We took over when we noticed that she was using the steering wheel as a teether.

A glance at the redrocks in Sedona from the 17 fwy. We didn't get to go this trip but even this view carries memories of lying in the sun, walking through the woods, splashing with friends and smoking a good cigar.
I miss you, Oak Creek.

Easter 2010

2010-04-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

I'm clearly a couple weeks behind in my posting, but Easter was so much fun this year that I still wanted to put up some pictures. Aba was able to participate in some of the sillier Easter traditions this year and we had such a good time with her. Skippwe contributed to the festivities by smiling and looking adorable in general:

I don't like my kids to match except on Easter. I don't know why but for some reason I really wanted them to be wearing similar if not matching dresses. They're so cute, I love it!

Abs got to dye eggs. She did really well and only spilled a bit. I think she was confused about why we dye eggs... but then again so am I.

Can you think of anything better to get in your Easter basket?

Abs had so much fun hunting for eggs, especially when she discovered that there are surprises in the plastic ones.

A basket full of eggs and a day full of smiles.

Skipper's First Bites

2010-04-13T12:14:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago we introduced Skipper to rice cereal--her first solid food! She responded to it well and even tried to help us get the spoon to her mouth faster. She kept trying to lap up the cereal like a dog instead of chew it which made for a bit of a mess. The funniest thing was her tongue--it's so long! With solid foods comes the mixed blessing of independence. A blessing because it makes life much easier in some ways and it's definitely awesome that she's reached this point in development. But it's hard for me as a mom to recognize that it is one of many steps that will ultimately lead to her not needing me as much anymore. Ah, life.

So Many Stories

2010-03-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my favorite recent pictures of the girls. Each one has its own story but that's a lot to write so I'll just show the moment and share a couple of sentences about each:

Skipper was watching Abs eat and seemed to be trying to copy her. Not long before she's on solids herself (sigh)

Abs had been sick for a few days and was getting so antsy that I decided to give her a little time outside. She was so happy to be in the sunshine!

A gift from Grandma... she won't wear a hat (only if we call it a helmet) but a feather boa and heels are ok

Skipper discovered that the camera can be caught so close ups are difficult to get now, but worth the risk to capture those beautiful eyes

We spend so much money on teethers, rattles, etc. when all she really wants are her own toes

Jared pulled out his old marble track when Abs was sick. She did surprisingly well with helping put it together and loved putting the marbles in the top "by self".

One of our many trips to the park. They always seem to intrude on Skipper's nap time so she gives out some of her rare grumpy faces

Classic Skipper, she is so happy all the time

Bubble Wand

2010-03-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

I've been walking to the park a few times a week with the girls. We're trying to help Soda (and myself, truth be told) lose some weight and it's also a great way for Abs to get some energy out before nap. She has a new bubble wand that she was excited to try out so we took it with us. It's awesome because she just twirls around and it make bubbles, then she runs after them trying to catch them on the wand. While I was happy with the bubble solution it came with, the refill we have really sucks so I'm going to try a formula I found online. Hopefully it will make for some stronger bubbles. I took a few dozen pictures, but here are just a few:

I love Soda in the background begging us to put down the bubbles and throw the frisbee for her.

Bling Bib

2010-02-24T17:10:00.001-08:00

Skipper has started to drool... and I mean dddrroooolll (picture the letters dripping). I have some bibs for her but she fills them up fast and usually she has to wear a different one after each nap throughout the day then they dry overnight (did I mention that she drools a lot?). I decided to try my hand at bibs so that she has more in the rotation. This one I made out of an old baby towel and some scrap fabric. I used an embroidery stitch and silver thread for the "chain" and "clasp" and some scrap for the "diamond". Now she can have rice cereal at a fancy restaurant without feeling under-dressed.

Toddler Pouch

2010-02-19T16:38:00.000-08:00

I love this book called "The Toddler's Busy Book" by Trish Kuffner http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Toddlers-Busy-Book/Trish-Kuffner/e/9780671317744 It has tons of ideas for crafts, games and activities for kids 18-36 months (no, I don't still count my toddler's age in months but it's easier to write than years in this case). Yesterday we made a "Toddler Pouch" by stapling 1 1/2 paper plates right sides together and adding a yarn strap. Abs not only had fun decorating the pouch but she has also enjoyed hanging it on doors, wearing it as a necklace or purse and putting anything in it that will fit.

No Wise Cracks

2010-02-19T15:33:00.000-08:00

I know that low-rise pants are popular with the girls but low-rise diapers are just ridiculous. Concern for fashion starts at such a young age these days.

After the Rain

2010-01-31T18:03:00.000-08:00

I love the rain. I love any weather as long as it doesn't go on forever. Of course, living in Southern California we have almost a complete lack in weather. I know I shouldn't complain about constant sunny skies and warm weather but I really do miss seasons, snow days, storms, and dark clouds. A couple weeks ago we got some actual real rain storms here! It was wonderful to hear the pounding of raindrops on the roof, to see the gathering of water into various puddles and to smell the freshness in the air whenever there was a break in the storm.

During one of these breaks Jared took Abs outside for some much needed run around time (she gets a bit antsy if cooped up too long). My friend Candace got her a cute little knit hat for Christmas so we talked her into wearing it since it was cold out. She refuses to wear any kind of "hat" but if we call it a helmet then she's fine. So here are some pictures of Abs in her "rain helmet" just after a pretty good storm.

Love Potion

2010-01-30T20:27:00.000-08:00

It's February! Well, almost. It's close enough that Baskin Robbins is selling their best ice cream ever--Love Potion #31! If you like white chocolate and raspberry ice creams swirled with a raspberry ribbon and loaded with raspberry-filled chocolate hearts and chocolate chips then you have to try it. My love affair with Love Potion began over 10 years ago while I

was still living in Flagstaff. I don't remember how I was

introduced but I look forward to it every year.

This year Abs had some for the first time. She was excited just to be going out for ice cream and had no idea that she was about to try the best ice cream ever. I gave her a small amount of just the ice cream part in a kid's cup with a sample spoon. She loved it of course and

stayed surprisingly clean. The only thing she didn't seem to like was whichever spoon she was using at any given moment because she kept wanting to switch with me.

It's amazing to see her grow and be able to share things I enjoy.

Jared doesn't care much for Love Potion #31 (we all have our faults) so unless Jenni or Kristin happen to be out this way in February I'm usually left enjoying it alone. Some might criticize my decision to introduce her to something like this at so early an age. "She'll never want regular ice cream again!" they cry. To that I say: She's 2. She'll eat anything with sugar. The only downfall I found in taking Abs was the sugar crash a couple hours later that produced a whine so powerful it's still lingering in the air an hour after she's gone to bed.

Candace

2010-01-27T18:26:00.000-08:00

My amazing friend Candace made these blankets for the girls. Abs uses hers as a security blanket--especially when we travel. Skipper is too little still to have a preference but she sleeps on it at night and it's super soft and comfy.

Just looking at this picture of the blankets I am reminded of how truly blessed I am to have Candace in my life. I don't get to see her nearly often enough, but I felt that way even when we lived in the same town. She has taught me time and again that life is worth taking a chance and people are worth giving a chance.

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?" Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 (NLT)

Creative Weekend

2010-01-26T09:04:00.001-08:00

I have a tendency to get very excited about a project, then get very excited about another project, and another and I work on each of them as I feel in the mood. I do finish them (for the most part) but sometimes it takes years because I get distracted by the next project. I do the same thing with books. It's fairly common for me to be "currently" reading 3 or more books.

What usually happens (and this was no exception) is that I end up with so many projects that I run out of room to put them then I go on a mission to complete one or two. So a couple weekends ago I decided to finish one of the smaller sewing projects I'd gotten excited about. Being me, I then got very excited and started a new project almost immediately after finishing this one.

The project I finished is a gum drop pillow for Abs. The pattern is from Amy Butler http://www.amybutlerdesign.com/products/patterns_display.php?id=31 It was much easier to make than I expected and I was able to start and finish it in about a day--not including shopping for the perfect fabric. For the stuffing I went "green" by using some old pillows.

I made the pillow for Abs to sit at a toddler table or to sit and watch tv on. She does both of these but I'm glad I used some thicker material because she also loves to use it for jumping on (and off of), rolling around, bouncing (different than jumping), and flying over (as seen below).

The project I started almost immediately after finishing the gumdrop pillow is a set of quilted notecards. I got the idea from Denyse Schmidt in her book Denyse Schmidt Quilts. The cards take about 5-10 minutes each which is wonderful because I can start and finish one even with both girls awake. I went "green" again by using scraps of fabrics from other projects and a set of blank (on the inside) notecards that I already owned but never used because they had an ugly picture on the front.

Scare?

2010-01-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd start with a picture of my wonderful family. I have been blessed with two beautiful, happy girls and an incredible husband. Of course having two perfect little girls brings up the question, "Are you going to have any more?" or "Are you going to try for a boy?" I found myself in more than one conversation about it already this week (today is Tuesday). I have been struggling back and forth on the issue for a number of reasons. And then something happened--yesterday I got tired and nauseous.

I'll just say right away that I took a test and I'm not pregnant. But before I took the test I found myself dealing with some thoughts and emotions that have made the issue a bit more clear for me. I began to remember what it was like to be pregnant (not hard, it was only a few months ago). Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not a fan of pregnancy. But it wasn't the physical discomfort that most scared me, it was the depression. I began to remember what my relationship with Jared was like when I was pregnant, what kind of mom I was to Abs, and the many things that I missed out on because I had no energy, no motivation, and no joy.

Jared, thankfully, was very understanding and patient with me and our marriage recovered quickly once I had the baby (each time). Abs, however, doesn't have the reasoning ability to recognize why I would react certain ways so she just stopped wanting to be around me. I had no patience with her and no energy for play or discipline. What took days to recover between me and Jared has taken months for me and Abs.

I missed out on almost a whole year of Abs' life in a way. That's huge considering she's only been around for two years. Now, since she's only two it's pretty easy for her to forget and move on. But what if this happened again when she's a bit older? Would our relationship recover? And would having two kids to take care of while pregnant make things worse?

This is what I was thinking about when I decided to take a test and see. I love my life right now. Not just the aspects of my life, but me, my attitude and who I am. I don't want to lose any more of it to depression if I can help it. I have an amazing husband and two wonderful girls and I want to enjoy every minute of life with them.

But here's the flip of that coin... I only have these beautiful girls because I was pregnant in the first place. I would totally go through it again for each of them if I had to make the choice over again. The issue of having another baby would be a no-brainer if I only considered the hardship involved but the question that plagues me is: In a couple of years will there be someone else to whom I would say, "I'd do it all over again for you"?

January Zoo Visit

2010-01-18T13:32:00.000-08:00

I love the zoo. Not just any zoo, the San Diego Zoo (in my opinion the only real zoo). Back in August? (my memory of 2009 is a bit fuzzy) we bought year passes and went with my in-laws, but haven't been back since (something about late-pregnancy and a new baby...) Last week we finally went again and it was an enormous success. For those of you who have tried outings with a toddler and an infant you understand that a trip to the zoo can be more like an expedition. So here's how the trip went (if you're not interested in the details, the pictures are below all this nonsense so feel free to skip to them).

We decided the night before that we would get everyone up at 7am and be on our way around 7:30 which means that we actually left the house around 10am. My mom had given Abs a dvd player for the car and this was the first time we used it. It turned out to be quite a patience saver because we got ridiculously lost once we got to San Diego (thank you google maps for making the simplest of trips an adventure).

We finally got to the zoo around 12:30 (the time we had decided the night before to leave the zoo and head home). We found out that the San Diego Zoo is very kid-friendly--something we never cared about or even noticed before but now find that it can make or break a trip. They have a whole section of the zoo specifically for young children, stroller-parking, and even a quiet, private place to nurse.

We took our time and most of the day we let/made Abs walk. We saw otters, monkeys, gorillas, bears, birds, reptiles and a lion but Abs' favorite part of the zoo was the railings which she discovered were perfect for hanging (aka: scaring mom half to death).

We left just in time for traffic but still made it back in time for homegroup--a good thing since it meets at our house. All in all it was an awesome family date-day and I think they'll get even better as the kids get older.

We actually got to see bears wrestling!

Skipper spent most of the day in the stroller but still seemed to have a good time--as good times go for infants.

When I was taking a picture of Jared and Abs in front of the gorillas there was another lady in front of the glass looking at some gorillas in the distance. While she was standing there a young gorilla came and pounded on the glass right where she was. It was hilarious, she jumped so high!

There was another gorilla statue carrying a branch and she tried so hard to help him carry it. She finally gave up saying it was "Haaaveee"

The playground was wonderful. Abs got a lot of energy out both when we first got there and right before we left.

Abs loved the otters. They kept coming up to the glass and swimming circles.

Ok, this was a little freaky. This big bird came right up to the stroller as soon as we waked into the Aviary. It looked scary enough with its red eyes, but then it started to follow us. I tried not to freak out and scare Abs but I was a bit nervous to say the least.

Abs hanging from the railing--one of many, many times.

Playing with Pictures

2010-01-07T07:50:00.000-08:00

Some silly pictures of the girls that I decided to mess around with:

Our Garden

2010-01-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

We've been trying really hard to make our little patch of cement feel more garden-like and this year we managed to successfully grow tomatoes, basil, strawberries, potatoes, sweet potatoes and oranges. On New Year's Day we let Abs pick and eat one of the oranges. She had been pointing them out and asking for them just about every day since they started to turn orange.

Tantrum

2010-01-01T23:59:00.001-08:00

I managed to catch one of her more tame tantrums with my camera. How can I love her so much even when she's being completely ridiculous? She's always been pretty independent but over the past few months it has taken the predictable turn to defiance, tantrums, and just plain old fashioned wreaking havoc. Most of this is done in the name of curiosity and excess energy (doesn't mean she's off the hook). At times it can be difficult to know how to respond (sometimes it's just difficult to respond instead of react). Decisions about consequences, trying to figure out how to prevent things, knowing when it's ok to let things go and let her figure it out--these things keep me up at night, cause me anxiety like you wouldn't believe, and leave me constantly second-guessing myself. And then just when I'm ready to throw in the towel she does something super sweet or runs around like a rabid animal saying "hoooaaah, hoooahhh" and I can't help but laugh. Little stinker, I swear she knows exactly what she's doing.

Pumpkin Patch '09

2009-10-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

We took Abs to the Tanaka Farms pumpkin patch. It's becoming a bit of an annual tradition for us to go with our friends, the Gills. They have a little boy around Abs' age and they have so much fun together. Here are a few pictures from our day:

She was such a little adventurer and had no problem ditching us to explore all the many rows of pumpkins.

We were amazed at the size and weight of some of the pumpkins she brought us. She's so buff!

This picture is actually a large pumpkin pile. Abs climbed up to the top pretty much by herself. She was so proud. When she reached the top she yelled, "Abi-dah yeah!"

"Are you trying to smuggle out a pumpkin? hahaha." Never heard that one before...

Toilet Training

2009-10-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

She's a toilet reader! (sorry, Sandra)

I started toilet training today (she actually calls it a toilet and I like it better so why correct her with an incorrect word?). We introduced it last week because she kept asking to go "pee pee" on the "ta ta" so we bought her one her size mainly because it's difficult for me to pick her up and put her on the big toilet and hold her there for 5 minutes at a time.

Today was the first day we really went for actual toilet training (instead of just when she asks) and I have to admit I wasn't as consistent as I hoped to be. There's something about toilet training that is very intimidating to me. I was hoping to put this off until late winter/early spring under the excuse that it will be difficult to toilet train her with a new baby in the house. Really it's because I wanted to wait until it had a better chance of succeeding on the first try.

I think I'm intimidated because it's almost a mark of parenthood. Walking, talking, interests--those are all pretty much up to the child. But toilet training and eating habits seem to have my reputation as a mom at stake--at least it feels like it. I think it's because I've overheard so many conversations either praising or looking down on a mom for one or both of those things. For example: "Can you believe he's still in diapers?! He's almost 4!" or "Maybe if her mom didn't cater to her tastes she wouldn't be so picky."

Why do I care so much what other people think about my parenting skills (or lack thereof from time to time)? Many of the people doing the criticizing either haven't had a toddler in the house for 15+ years or have never had kids! I hope she does well with the toilet training for a number of reasons (save money on diapers, milestone in her life, convenience, she's so proud when she does it, etc.) but I'm really disappointed in myself that other people's opinion of me and her is actually one of the reasons as well.

Screw the hens. I refuse to be irritated with her for going at her own pace, continuing to need diapers for a while and/or having to give up and start over when she's a bit older. Personal pep talk done, now off to the frog toilet for another round of magazine reading and motivational speaking.

Family Cookies

2009-10-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we made cookies as a family. Abs was so excited!

I was so impressed with how well she followed directions and let me help her instead of her usual demand to do things by herself.

The airplane was her favorite shape to cut out, most of the wings even made it to the oven.

Abs was very clear about which cookies were hers!

Overall she seemed to have a great time. I think that I am learning to be more flexible. Activities with Abs typically make about 5x the mess and take about 3x as long to finish but my goal is for her to enjoy the process, not for the end product to be perfect. I love that we have started to do some small things together, this is one of the aspects of having a daughter that I was looking forward to. I don't know what I'll do if she turns out to be uninterested in sewing, cooking and creating in general but I guess as long as we can find things to do together it doesn't really matter what they are.

pondering labor

2009-10-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

So now that I'm close to my second delivery I find myself thinking over the first. I think overall I had a good experience (for labor) but if there are ways to make the second one even better then I'm all for it. Here are a few things that I liked about my labor with Abs (and some pictures of parts of the experience):

Induction: I liked having a little bit of notice. I was very late, of course, which is why they decided to induce me but it seemed to take some of the paranoia out of the way. We were able to go to Disneyland the night before and celebrate our last night as non-parents. My parents had an 8hr drive to get to us so it was great to be able to give them enough notice that they made it for the labor and were even able to bring Jared some dinner (I wasn't allowed to eat and was incredibly jealous). I also liked knowing that when I went in they weren't going to send me home. When you are in labor they will sometimes send you home if you're not progressed enough and we live too far for me to be comfortable with that so we probably would have hung out somewhere near the hospital--not a fun thought considering the pain.
Epidural: Most people seem a little irritated with Jared when they first see this picture. It is exactly what it looks like--Jared is doing a superman pose on a rolling stool while I'm in labor. Before that we were playing volleyball with my pilates ball. We were playing and goofing around because for the first several hours of labor I didn't really feel anything. In fact, I thought the labor had stopped but during that time I dilated about 5 more centimeters. That was before my epidural. After that they broke my bag and then boy did I feel it! When it got really intense I got an epidural and I loved it. I went as light as I could handle it so that I could feel to push and while the labor wasn't exactly a breeze from that point on, it was much more bearable.
Softing Time: This is a full hour that Kaiser gives parents to bond with the new baby before they take her away to be bathed and immunized and stuff. While I didn't really get to enjoy this time because I spiked a pretty good fever and was getting stitched up, Jared got to spend almost the whole time holding Abs and falling more in love with each passing second. It was wonderful to hold, look at, and feed her so soon after labor and I believe that it was the beginning of the incredibly strong father-daughter bond that the two of them still share.

So there are a few of the things I liked. Here are few that I didn't like and will try to make sure it's different this time around:

My first nurse didn't speak very good english. On top of that she mumbled, had a strong accent and took forever to respond to our page when I was stuck in a 7 minute contraction that almost caused an emergency c-section. This time I'll request a different nurse if I don't like the one they give me.

The painkillers just made me sleepy. I was advised to try painkillers before I went with an epidural and I feel like they just made everything foggy. I couldn't sleep but I couldn't really think either and that bothered me. I'll go straight to the epidural this time if things get too difficult to bear.

The nursing staff after birth was awful. They wouldn't let any of us sleep so even Abs was awake for the first 27 hours after birth which made her impossible to feed and she screamed so much from being tired that we couldn't sleep either. Then when I finally got her to sleep the first time and was able to fall asleep myself they came in and demanded to take vitals on both of us. They woke her up and she screamed for the next 3 hours! I was so angry and so anxious to leave the hospital and get home where we wouldn't be bothered. If possible this time I will just tell them "no, come back later". As the mom I should have some say in the care of my child, right?

Chances are that this will be a very different labor and delivery than what I experienced with Abs but I think it's good to have a mental note of a few things I liked and disliked just in case. It could be any day now and it could be in a few weeks--at least I've given it some thought. Now I just need to get her things ready, buy last minute supplies, put the car seat in, pack my bag... etc. etc. etc.

Abs Time

2009-07-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

So yesterday Abs and I were having a good, full day together. We went to the park, read books, snuggled, watched Dora and, of course, ate popcorn. She has an old pot and she likes to help us by stirring things in it--Cheerios, raisins, goldfish crackers and popcorn. She was that wonderful combination of sweet and wild.

We had such a great day together that I found myself worried that I'm going to lose this when the new baby gets here. There is still a lingering doubt that follows me. I think if I had actually made the decision to get pregnant it would be doubt about my decision but since I didn't... maybe what I actually doubt is God's plan. He must know how happy we were just the 3 of us. Will we be this happy with 4 of us?

I hope so and I think deep down I believe so. In the meantime I wait for Stella's arrival and take advantage of every good Abigail time I get while it's only her I have to worry about.

Thanksgiving in good ol' AZ

2006-11-27T11:51:00.000-08:00

Meet the Family

Just as pretty as AZ sunsets, but harder to catch.

Quail, to the layperson.

kins

2006-11-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

i'm pretty sure that these girls know that they were an answer to my surface level prayer for friends 10 years ago. what they probably don't know is that they are an answer to a prayer i never dared to utter--a prayer deep in my soul to be known and loved anyway, to share my life in all its layers, to love back without fear. here's to kris and jen, the girls who first taught me that soulmates are worth the time, tears, fights, and hurts. i love sharing my life with you.

Yes, my dog climbs trees...

2006-11-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

I've tried to tell her she's not a cat.

Day Off at the Beach

2006-11-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

Obsession